Son of Bill Gates asks his father:- Dad, I’d like to try to have sex, what should I do?- That’s simple, sonny. Just take the biggest car from my garage, dress the best suit you have and take the girl into the most deluxe restaurant in the town. Rent a horse chariot in the evening and take her for a trip around the lake. Buy her the biggest bunch of flowers you can buy. Finally rent a president suite and she’ll be yours. And that’s all.- But Dad! Where are the romantic walks, grazes, reading of poetry in the moonlight, flirting …- My boy… all this was invented by the Linux folks so that they can have sex for free
Passenger , to a Sexy Air Hostess: What is your name ?
Air Hostess : Benz, Sir !
Passenger : Lovely name. Any relation with Mercedes Benz ?
Air hostess: Same price sir…
What’s the difference between white fairytales and black fairytales?
– White fairy tales start “Once upon a time…”.
– Black fairytales start “Yo, you ain’t gonna believe this shit…”
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob, so they loaded up Jack’s minivan and headed north.
After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard.
They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
‘I realize its terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I’m recently widowed,’ she explained. ‘I’m afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.’
‘Don’t worry,’ Jack said. ‘We’ll be happy to sleep in the barn, and if the weather breaks, we’ll be gone at first light. ‘The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.
Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way.
They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney.
It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, ‘Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?’
‘Yes, I do.’ said Bob
‘Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?’
‘Well, um, yes!,’ Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, ‘I have to admit that I did.’
‘And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?’
Bob’s face turned beet red and he said, ‘Yeah, look, I’m sorry, buddy, I’m afraid I did.’ ‘Why do you ask?’
‘She just died and left me everything.’
An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. “Hey,” he says, “What’s with the steering wheel down your pants?” “Ach,” says the Irish man, “it’s drivin’ me nuts!”
Zebo, a half blind five year old African orphan, has to ride 7 miles to school each day with only 1 leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no brakes. Give just a small donation of two pounds and we’ll send you the DVD, it’s fucking hilarious!